I ride the bus to work about twice a week. It’s cheaper, easier, better for the environment, and only takes a little longer.  Tuesday of this week was one of those days.

On my morning bus ride on the Capitol Metro 338 Crosstown, a man boarded 7 or 8 stops after me.  He was probably in his mid to late 40′s, long hair, jean shorts, and rode a bicycle.  He sat in the seat right in front of me, the first row of the upper section of the bus.

I noticed after a few minutes that he was staring at other people on the bus.  Normally this wouldn’t be anything to point out, as bus rides are very boring and looking around is pretty much the only entertainment you get, but he seemed to be staring at these people in ways that made them very uncomfortable.  At the time, I couldn’t figure out what he was doing, as he was sitting in front of me, facing forward.

Slowly these people all got off the bus at their appropriate stops (or maybe just to get away from this guy), and it was down to just him and myself.  About 5 minutes before my stop, he stands up (while the bus is moving), looks back at me and stares for a few seconds, then walks down to the lower, front section of the bus, and stands up.  Over the next few minutes, I notice him looking back at me a few times.  Same creepy stare as before.

Finally he reaches up and pulls the “Stop Requested” cable, and as the bus stops, I notice that in one of his hands he’s holding one of those little yellow disposable Kodak cameras.  The bus stops, he looks back at me one more time, takes a picture of me, and gets off the bus.  He goes and gets his bike off the rack, and starts riding down the sidewalk in the opposite direction as the bus.  He slows down when he gets to my window, stares right in at me, and spits on the window!  And I’m not talking a little saliva here, I’m talking a big snotty hunk of phlegm.

What was this all about?  Needless to say, I’m still a little worried to ride the bus again.  I do have a theory though…

This man was God, and I am going to die soon.  That’s it.  That’s my whole theory.

Thoughts?